Wednesday, September 16, 2009

My passport misses me.

It's 11:59 on a Wednesday evening and I'm waiting to hear the sounds of Snorkel, a band that I saw in London over a year and a half ago. My fiance, Ben, opens his weekly radio show with that each Wednesday and for a moment, I am taken back to the night I first heard Snorkel...it was our first trip for my music class, we were at the Adelaide (I think) in this upstairs bar with cracking paint, hard wood floors and trendy people. The music started, and everyone began moving to this electronic sound as if it was the melody that described their life. It felt right to just let go and sway to the sounds.

I have not swayed or let go in quite a while...not that I have ever been truly uninhibited, in London my mind was constantly filled with homesickness, money worries, fashion envy, etc...but I still had the moments that I could let go and experience life without the worry. Those moments are far and few between now. Six months ago I couldn't wait to graduate...now I CANNOT wait to go to grad school! Jobs, money, bills, student loans, money, friends, and money are all I have been able to think of...that is until 2 days ago!

It felt like my life had meaning again...I could reclaim my passport and add two more stamps to it! I bought plane tickets for Ben and I to travel to Dublin and Paris at the end of November. I think only people who have been bit by the travel bug can understand my feeling, but I felt truly alive...like I really had a purpose, and that purpose was to see the world and enhance my very being. I don't know what I expect to accomplish by traveling other than to broaden my view of the world/people/life, but I want to do it as if it is why I'm living. Plus, my constant money anxieties are put at bay, because travel allows me to control my money in a way that I want to...I'm searching ryanair.com for the cheapest flights and saving money by staying in 12 person/per room hostels...there's nothing better than saying I'm staying in Dublin for less than $50 for two days and then flying to Paris for 15 bucks!

I just have to travel and no matter what is going on in my life that will always be my constant. Travel makes me remember my home and when I'm at home I just take it for granted. Hmm...that sounds like I need a therapist to discuss my feelings with but rather than paying for that I'll save it for airfare, haha ;)

Cheers for now from a crazy, obsessed traveler.